Want to see me somewhere else?

Yes, I wrote something for Alpha Mom. You should totally go read it. It is a subject I am quite an expert at. In fact, if you are an expert on a subject you should totally submit your idea to them. They’ll let you know if they already have one in the que on your topic. In fact, as of this minute it is the featured article on their homepage. Go, then let me know what you think.

I’ve got nothing.

I’ve tried and tried today but… nothing. I’ve also done nothing today.

Okay, okay, not nothing but not as much as I should be getting done. I’ve done everything but the one big project that is just drudgery.

Also? People are dumb.

And annoying.

And no, I’m not in a bad mood.

Someone in my life seems to have been in a bad mood for the last… oh, I don’t know… eleventy-million months. I’m not naming any names here but… it is a real downer. The worst part is I’m not allowed to ask about it or the person ends up in an even worse mood. There is no winning here.

Mind. can. not. focus.

This is another reason large project of drudgery is not getting done. Requires focus. Wait! Do I see something shiny?

Quick, look over there!

Now to figure out how to complete pre-Bar Mitzvah child’s Torah project TONIGHT as it is due TOMORROW at some crazy hour like 9am. This whole weekend’s schedule is insane. Speaking of which, must remember to print out calendar pages for weekend or will forget one or ten items on the schedule. Why did we have so many children and why must they be so involved?

In positive news, I updated to WordPress 2.7. I like it. It is good. That is all.

This may be the worst blog post ever.

Wow! Look what I just found here. A blog. My blog. Gee, I’d kind of forgotten I had one. Whoops.

I actually had a dream last night that I blogged for the first time in a millennium. I’m guessing that’s what spurred this post. And now you’re wondering what this post is actually about. Ha! As if there is any topic beyond “LOOK, I’m back! Maybe. If I don’t forget all about this place again.”

In other news, I’m sure you’ve all realized… school has started again. YAY school! The children are busy for many hours a day. They are no longer left to their own devices with periodic check in’s from responsible adults. They are however, still trying to kill each other most days. Also, the youngest has apparently aged enough to no longer be kept safe from the oldest’s wrath. Or maybe he’s just more annoying. Most likely both. The older 2 are at school from 7am – 5:30pm (when I can now pick them up). Soccer is wearing them out – oh how I love soccer. And for the first time pretty much ever, I’m paying for regular child care three days a week. And it is so worth it.

I’ve also received a promotion. Better hours! (7:30-4) More to do! Doesn’t make me want to jab a pen in my eye rather than work! (Those who follow me on twitter may remember that lovely day.) It’s in the same office as before. I did not have to apply or interview because they just offered it (and a small raise) up on a platter. YAY! And I am repaying them by blogging while at work. I ROCK!

In other updating type news… the husband was the most awsomest ever during meeting about child with “issues”. Said son is now in therapy, getting extra help at school and has a teacher who is all about helping kids succeed. There may be medication in another month or two but for now we’re trying other things. I can’t tell you the relief and joy this gives me. Thank you Universe!

Personally, I ditched my therapist again but am still taking the Zoloft. Feeling good and keeping it together – most of the time – except when having to get a small child out the door by 6:40am and he refuses to MOVE. And also complains if I leave him for his dad to take to sitter’s. CAN NOT WIN. Also, pre-bedtime is rough. I’m tired and the kids are tired and they don’t want to have me check their homework or get ready for bed. Still, things are going well. Until I get home tonight and it all falls apart because I just jinxed myself with the parenting Gods.

*Note to Parenting Gods: Please be gentle. I’m so sorry I dared to mention what I mentioned. You still rule the Parenting Universe.

Now I must really get back to work.

About once a week my mother sends me an e-mail telling me some tidbit about how my youngest cried that morning after I dropped him off. Either he was up to late and was tired or, like today, he wanted to have breakfast with me but didn’t. In just about every case it is because he did not do what he needed to for the task to be accomplished. Of course he never tells her that part. In every instance it is somehow my fault. For example, last night he said he wanted to get up and have breakfast with me this morning. I woke him up at the designated time, he refused to rise, when he finally did emerge from his bed he cried because I was done eating and had even showered. My husband and I tried to wake him approximately 8,724 times.

But the absolute best part of these missives my mother sends me is how she ends each one. “Your children miss you.”

Why thank you for that mom. It is a lovely way to start my day. Crying at my keyboard in the office is a fabulous way to greet students and coworkers.

I have told her how I miss them since going back to work full-time in January. I’ve told her how I’ve been spending MORE time with them. I’ve told her about the things I’ve tried to do to make the time together better (like breakfast with them).

She always assures me she’s not criticizing. She tells me I can’t quit my job, the children will adapt, etc, etc. So why, WHY must she lay on the guilt?

(AKA Bullets Are My Friends)

• The reason for all the tiredness and exhaustion? My iron level which should reside at a minimum of 50 is at an all time low of 5. The doctor asked if I’d been feeling a little fuzzy in the brain. Ah, yeah. Well, that is why. When I stated that must be why I’ve been so freaking tired he said he was surprised I was still standing. All the other tests? Normal.
• My camera. My love. My huge investment that we could not afford and I was so guilt ridden about that it took me months to really USE the damn thing? GONE. I used it Saturday and now it is GONE. I swear I remember putting it in the car on our way home from a festival. It was between the seats of the van with my purse on top of it. We went to my s-i-l’s and then home. It was not there when we got home. My s-i-l searched her house and so did her husband even though I SWEAR I didn’t bring it in. I called the campus safety people and the library at the location of the festival in the pathetic hope that I remember incorrectly AND I left said camera on a park bench. This particular fantasy includes the finder of the Nikon D80 with 18-200 VR lens to actually turn it in and not keep it for themselves. So far, no such luck. This also means I have to file a police report.
• Did you know to file a police report for a stolen item you must be in the county of the theft and call 911? I did not. I thought 911 was for absolute, my house is on fire, emergencies. I was wrong. I do not live in the same county as my sil. I do however work in the same county as her. This means I must either find time in my Spring sport calendar (NONE. NONE I tell you) to go to her house and call OR I must have the police report to my JOB. It seems you must call 911 then they come to you and you file the report. I do not want the local sheriff’s at my place of business. I also do not want to wait much longer to file the report.
• I really keep hoping my brain is not working well and someone finds the damn camera. We just finished paying it off.
• I don’t think this particular fantasy is going to come true.
• I miss my camera.
• Stress + low iron = need nap now (or from now on: nnn)
• My 1^st performance review for my new job is this afternoon. And I’m blogging. I’m a bit worried.
• I hate 1^st reviews. You never know how they’re going to go.
• nnn