For ten years and four kids I’ve tried my best to avoid being “that” mom. You know the one. The one that when the teachers or administrators at school see you coming they groan, run and hide or roll their eyes. I’ve really tried to let them do their jobs and trust them. We live in an excellent school district. In fact, we moved to our current location BECAUSE of the school district.

But…

I have found one problem. I’ve let it slide most of the time. Or rather I’ve addressed the problem and then let it go numerous times. Individual teachers have made it easier to let the issue go. In 98% of cases they’ve done their part. The administration however has refused to do their parts. And now I’m done discussing the issue. I want action.

Maybe I should mention what the problem is. Yes?

The school refuses to challenge my kids. More specifically, my oldest two. They slide by without putting any effort in. They are happy enough getting mostly A’s with the occasional B without doing more than the bare minimum. I am so not okay with this. Now that they are in 8th and 9th grade they need to learn how to work a little. They need to be in a more competitive academic atmosphere. They need to be with kids that work at school and take pride in their grades.

Here’s the thing. My oldest’s friends are all in honors classes. They have been since 7th grade. None of them understand why he isn’t. His father and I don’t understand why he isn’t. The junior high has some formula they use to place kids in honors and apparently he didn’t qualify. Even though he could do the work. We let it slide. I will admit, this was my mistake. I should have gone to the school back in 7th grade. I should have pushed. But I didn’t want to be “that” parent.

Now he’s in high school. He has 100 average in everything 5 weeks in and we told him he needed to talk to the school about getting into an honors class. He needs a challenge. Get this: He AGREED. I told him to pick one subject that they offer as honors. His choices: math, science & social studies. He chose social studies. Now honestly? That is the LAST class I would chose to take an honors version of. In fact, I believe that was my worst subject in school. But that’s what he picked. He spoke to his teacher yesterday and his teacher said he was already looking at moving him into his honors class. All he has to do is ace his unit test this week. Only thing standing in his way? He hasn’t cracked a book. Guess what we’re doing tonight.

My oldest has also said he’d like to try for honors math next year. HIS OWN SUGGESTION. He doesn’t want to do it this year because he thinks it might be too much all at once. I told him the longer he waits the further behind he’s going to get. His response? Geometry is easy. You guys can help me get caught up. To which I replied, “Hell no. I can’t do geometry. I’m the algebra lady.” Yes, it’s true. Geometry is impossible for me but I love Algebra. I know. Odd and GEEK. Whatevs. He says dad can help him.

So see, no need to be “that” mom. Son, taking action himself. I’m so proud.

Now, on to the second child. Oh dear son of mine. He has his head in the clouds most of the time. He is silly and goofy and a more than a little devious.  Good thing he’s so handsome. Makes it easier not to kill him at times. Also, keeps the girls from completely dismissing him.

One other thing he is? A math brain. He is the child that would make me put addition and subtraction problems on our chalkboard at 3. For fun. And he got them right. He would demand more math when I was trying to make dinner. He made up his own math problems on white boards, chalkboards, paper. He could just “see” how numbers worked. He was also the one shouting out the answers to the multiplication problems when I quizzed his older brother before he could even comprehend what I just said. He is the one we’ve been trying to get into honors math since the end of 6th grade.

Last year we fought with the principle over and over. He would not budge. We were told we were forcing our son to do something he didn’t want to do. That we would make him hate math. It was implied that we were being “those” parents. Then they conceded. He could take a math placement test at the end of August. A 90 or above meant honors math.

The fact is he got a 75.

Part of the problem was we were so intent on him studying for his Bar Mitzvah (on September 12th) and going to his Hebrew tutor’s. We didn’t push the math. The math he said he went over. The math practice test he assured us he could do. The day before the exam I realized the error of our ways and brought him to work with me. He worked for five hours. I showed him how to do about 30% of the problems. He got it. He took the exam the next day. He complained there was stuff on it not on the practice test. Four kids took the test.

I know at least one other didn’t pass it with a 90. She got an 80. She studied all summer with three different tutors. He is not in honors math. This is a kid that WANTS to be in honors math. This is a kids that could do it if you just put him in the damn class. The school won’t budge. I was going to give it up. After the exam I did nothing. But now he’s bugging ME about it.

So now it’s time. I’m making yet another appointment with the principal. I’m going to be “that” parent. I’m going to sit there and not budge from my position. I’m going to take a lesson from son #3 and be stubborn. So damn stubborn and not give up. I will not give in. I will wear him down. I will just not take no for an answer. I don’t care about rules and guidelines. There are always exceptions. This is one of those exceptions. It is time.

has still not ended.

I am currently mired in baseball and soccer games galore. Yes, school sports have ended but travel and recreation leagues are in full swing. It is the usual Spring balancing act of great mental and geektastic scheduling. I will admit that this year I did not use an excel spreadsheet as I have the past couple of years. Still, life has become work, sports, bed. This week has the added bonus of being finals week for the older two.

This morning I came across something so fun and entertaining that I had to share. Or rather, I had to steal this from Marcy at The Glamorous Life Association. Really. It is hysterical.

This week:

5 baseball games

4 soccer games

4 track practices

3 baseball practices

2.5 days as a single parent

2 soccer practices

2 appointments

2 work FAILS

1 missed 504 meeting (major parenting FAIL)

1 track meet

1 band concert

1 NJHS induction

1 guitar lesson

1 dinner date

unspecified number of bottles of wine drank

Last week was great fun around these parts. First off the kids were on Spring break. Secondly, the husband was out of state for the majority of the week and lastly, I almost died from a head cold.

Okay, so I didn’t almost die. I had a cold. I was sick enough to be sent home from work early on Thursday and stayed home Friday. Unfortunately, the time I didn’t take as vacation because I  HAD to work, I spent on my couch alternating between begging the children to let me sleep and barking orders for them to clean the house. It seemed every time I fell asleep someone would come in and wake me. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. When I finally gave up, I tried to get them to clean the downstairs because we were having company Saturday night. Needless to say, some of the children complied. Some did not. And then I died.

Or, recovered enough to enjoy having two families over for dinner on Saturday night. Now two families may sound small and manageable but if said families were all crazy and all produced 4 offspring each… well, that’s a whole lot of people.

One of ours was gone to a birthday party and another was away at college (not one of ours). That left us with six adults and ten children. Yeah. TEN. They ranged in age from six to fifteen. I would just like to praise Mother Nature for holding out on the rain that was predicted. The kids spent the majority of the night outside playing laser tag and chasing each other around outside. Yay Mother Nature! You go girl!

My husband declared the night, “Jewing it up night.” We served matzoh ball soup, challah, hummus, matzoh, potato knish, applesauce, sour cream, He-brew beer, wine and salad. One family brought venison and the other brought latkes.

You should know, we live in a small town. We are one of three Jewish families that I know of. The kids only know two other Jewish students in their school. To say they are celebrities in their classes would be accurate. Their dad always did the Hanukkah demonstration in Primary school and the fact they get eight days of gifts makes them rock stars. When the oldest had his Bar Mitzvah it was the event of the year. I’m not niave enough to believe there is no hate but for the most part I believe my kids have positive experiences living in the situation they do.

So anyway, we are what I call Jewish-lite. We do not keep kosher. We do eat bread during Passover. We celebrate the secular aspects of Christmas and Easter. The kids do go to Temple and Sunday school. They attend Hebrew school and see their tutor every week while preparing for their Bar Mitzvahs. We discuss mitzvahs (good deeds) and tzedakah (charity) and try to make these part of our daily lives. So, Jewish-lite. Say what you may but this works for us and I think many families take what works for them from their religion and leave the rest. This is what works for us.

So, we have many friends that are not Jewish. We have friends that are curious. We needed a good excuse to all get together. Well, not really NEEDED an excuse. But with the business of 4 kids each, we needed a push. My husband gave us that push and I’m so glad he did. It was great fun. The kids are all friends and got along great AND the adults all get along really well. I find it is rare for that to happen. Men getting along and wives and kids. It’s taken a long time for us to find this dynamic but I’m so glad we did.

Now for a string of non-related strange facts about our little group:

• The other two couples have been together since High School. Seriously. HIGH. SCHOOL. Yes, I find that odd.
• The men are all engineers. I guess that’s not odd as I seem to know in inordinate amount of engineers and not just through my husband. But still, what’s with all the engi-nerds? (heh, my pet name for them)
• We do not have the oldest child or the youngest but our kids are the closest in age.
• All the adults are between 38 & 41 and our kids ages are: 20, 15, 14, 14, 12, 12, 10, 9, 8, 8, 6, 6. The only ones without friends in the group are the 20 & 10 year olds. (they also happen to be the two not present)
• I have also now shown my highly nerdy need for numbers. They fascinate me. It’s a sickness.
• I cannot fathom having a 20 year old nor a 6 year old. One of the couples has both. They are also not the oldest.
• I told you it was a sickness.
• Out of 12 children there are only 2 girls. 14 and 6. Two different families. Neither is mine. (You should all already know this random fact.)
• SICKNESS.
• Maybe I should take a statistics course.
• Also, it does not escape my notice that I called them engi-nerds and I’m here with the number sickness.

To wrap up here I will say that school is FINALLY back in session today after a extra day off yesterday for an unused snow day. And do NOT get me started on the fact that the kids had school on a day when several buses slid off the road – one containing one of my children – only to have 2 snow days left over now.

Routine, it is good.