In light of all the emotional baggage dredged up from my teen years and angsty misunderstoodness (they are too words, doesn’t anyone understand me?) I am doing a list of an undermined number of facts of my teen years. I was going to do 20 because I graduated 20 years ago but then I realized its now been almost 21. Also, a predetermined number is too much pressure.

EDITED TO ADD: The original list was awful. I’ve decided to replace some of it with other things that have come to mind. It does not make the old list inaccurate, just a downer.

1. I got decent grades but didn’t study enough. I should have learned to study. Bit me in the ass in college.
2. I had flat hair for most of the 80′s – much to my chagrin at the time.
3. In gym class kickball I use to try to help the opposing team. This angered some of my teammates greatly.
4. I never took art in high school. (My degree is a BFA)
5. I liked almost everyone.
6. I loved hanging out with people who made me laugh but I was totally envious.
7. I took flute lessons for about a minute in 5th grade. It is the most musical thing I’ve ever done.
8. Since birth I had a crush on someone at all times.
9. I graduated High School a virgin.
10. No really. I did.
11. I was not cool. Gee, you think?
12. All these things are still true. Except the virgin part.
13. I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life right after high school. 20 years later it is still able to send me spiraling down a well of  self loathing and depression.
14. Sometimes I miss who I was and sometimes I’m terrified of becoming her again.
15. I’m finding that being confronted with teen agonies with my kids is just as hard as when I was a teen. I still don’t have the answers. I thought I would by now.
16. I have apparently learned very little in the 20 years since I was a teen. Although I have mastered the toddler years.

It seems 16 is the new 25. What are some random facts about your teen years?

This whole interview business was started by Immoral Matriarch. And it marches on here.

THE QUESTIONS:

1. Four boys begs the obvious question, do you keep enough seltzer on hand for daily burping contests? Also, how many members of your household can burp the alphabet and are you one of them?

I keep quite a bit of seltzer on hand since that’s all I drink besides coffee and wine. Fortunately, the boys all hate it. Because of that they don’t burp nearly as often as I do. I think the fact I am a champion burper and can out burp them at every turn has dissuaded them from attempting anything like the alphabet. The farting on the other hand is out of control.

2. What do the boys do that makes you laugh nearly every day?

The littles, as I call the younger two, are quite silly and like to shake their booties with abandon. That makes me laugh. The older two are 12 and 14 so there isn’t much going on in the make mom laugh area right now. It is more of the eye rolling, sighing, “parents are so dumb” type stuff. I will say that when the littles taunt the older two and make them insane with rage – that’s pretty funny. Lately, that type of thing is a daily occurrence.

3. In an alternate reality, what would your double be doing right now?

My double is right now sitting on a beach in Bimini with a good book, frosty drink and a hot cabana boy fanning me with a palm frond. Oh, and she looks fabulous in a bathing suit.

4. In your Jan. 21st meme you mentioned that you are teaching.  What are you teaching at night?

It is hysterical that you asked this. I had to go back read what you were talking about and then look at a calendar because for the life of me I couldn’t figure it out. Now I see that my youngest had a cub scout meeting and myself and another mom were teaching them a little sign language.

Now that I’ve said that, I will say that THANK GOD I do not have to do that again any time soon. There were six 8 year old boys, one 10 year old (mine), and one 5 year old girl (friend’s). The meeting was held at my home and at one point Zach, my youngest, was literally climbing on my head. The other boys were fabulous. I think Zach was a wee bit excited over the meeting being at our house and having mom instead of dad working with them. To say he was bouncing off the walls would be an understatement.

Even with the insanity of an eight year old they all managed to learn the alphabet and how to say, “My name is [their name]. What is your name?” in American Sign Language. After taking an intense 3 week ASL course this summer I am saddened to say I don’t remember much more than that.

5. If you could hug any person you’ve never actually met, who would it be and why?

Oh, this is a hard one. I would have to say Sharon. Or Cursingmama. Or Kinnicchick. Or ecined. Yes, they’re all blogging friends. But they are most definitely friends. I’m hoping one of these days to meet all these lovely ladies and give them that hug. They have all supported me during some less than fun times and I’d love to be able to show them how much their friendship has meant to me.

Whew! That was tough. Hopefully it will tell you all a little more about me. If anyone else has a question, feel free to ask away. If you’d like for ME to ask YOU some questions…

Want to be part of it? Follow these instructions:
1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone
else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them
five questions.

1. Where is your cell phone? desk
2. Your significant other? Jeff
3. Your hair? bangs!
4. Your mother? wonderful
5. Your father? dead
6. Your favorite thing? children
7. Your dream last night? positive
8. Your favorite drink? Coffee
9. Your dream/goal? success
10. What room you are in? cube
11. Your hobby? photography
12. Your fear? illness
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? happy
14. Where were you last night? home
16. Muffins? chocolate
17. Wish list item? lensbaby
18. Where you grew up? Uxbridge
19. Last thing you did? e-mail
20. What are you wearing? scarf
21. Your TV? flat
22. Your pets? Max
23. Friends? rule
24. Your life? chaotic
25. Your mood? hopeful
26. Missing some one? friend
27. Car? minivan
28. Something you’re not wearing? gloves
29. Your favorite store? book
30. Your favorite color? black
33. When is the last time you laughed? hour
34. Last time you cried? Sunday
35. Who will resend this? ?
36. One place that I go to over and over?  store
37. One person who emails me regularly? Jeff
38. My favorite place to eat? kitchen
39. Why you participated in this survey? busy
40. What are you doing tonight? teaching

Now it’s your turn. Leave a comment with the address to your post or you can do it in the comments. Can’t wait to read it.

• Works better with schedule, craves flexibility.
• Busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy.
• Out of shape, clothes keep shrinking.
• Loves hanging with kids, hates whining.
• Proud Mama can’t take the credit.
• Clumsy due to foot in mouth.

I’m sure I’ll come up with more as the day goes on. It’s completely addictive. Please, put yours in the comments or put a link to your blog if you do a post on this.

44 lame things about MoMMY.

1. Do you like blue cheese? I’ll eat it when appropriate.

2. Have you ever drank alcohol? hahahaha – have we met?

3. Do you own a gun? does Nerf count?

4. What flavor Kool Aid was your favorite? Ick.

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointment? Depends what it’s for. Todays? Yes. HATE.

6. What do you think of hot dogs? I think they are acceptable about once a year. Otherwise, ick.

7. Favorite Christmas movie? Don’t have one.

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? STRONG coffee with milk.

9. Can you do push ups? hahahahah – again, have we met?

10. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? My wedding ring

11. Favorite hobby? Reading

12. Do you have A.D.D.? Definitely not.

13. What’s your weight? ick.

14. Middle name? Miller or “of Many”

15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment? I should be working. I hope the child doesn’t have strep. I have to pee.

16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink? Coffee & seltzer (that’s really about it)

17. Briefs or Boxers? Hello – Boxers, or how about the combo, Boxer-breifs.

18. Current hate right now? yearly exams

19. Favorite place to be? Ocean

20. How did you bring in the New Year? Do not even remember – it’s been 11 months.

21. Where would you like to go? Bimini

22. Name three people who will complete this? ah, no.

23. Do you own slippers? yes, yes, yes

24. What color shirt are you wearing right now? Burgundy

25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? Ick.

26. Can you whistle? Sadly no.

27. Favorite color? Black? green? Depends.

28. Would you be a pirate? Yes, although I’d need a serious supply of Dramamine.

29. What songs do you sing in the shower? Don’t sing in the shower. Only the car.

30. Favorite Girls name? don’t have one…

31. Favorite boys name? I suppose the ones I used to name my children

32. What’s in your pocket? key to office bathroom

33. Last thing that made you laugh? Plumbers working in my office talking about “lubricating the shaft.” Why yes, I am a 12 y/o boy.

35. Worst injury you’ve ever had as a child? Flattening my hand as thin as paper at 2. Nothing broken though.

36. Do you love where you live? I love my house. I love the location – for the kids. But the house needs lots of work & I’d rather live in a city or at the beach when the kids are grown.

37. How many TVs are in your house? 3 – sadly most of them only get 3 stations.

38. Who is your loudest friend? Um… that’s my title.

39. How many dogs do you have? 1 – he is plenty.

40. Does someone have a crush on you? Doubtful

41. What is your favorite book? How do you pick just one?

42. What is your favorite candy? So many choices… something with chocolate? peanut butter? Good & Plentys? Anything without coconut.

43. Favorite Sports Team? whatever one the kids are on

44. What song do you want played at your funeral? Don’t want a funeral. But I do want someone to play Amazing Grace by Drop Kick Murphys in my memory. (Must include the bagpipes or forget it)

**Obviously I have issues picking one favorite anything.

Thanks to CursingMama for the meme.

Updated to add: Forgot #33. It’s there now. Go read it.

I’ve been having a bit of fun with it yesterday & today, although reading through the results makes it sound like I’ve been very depressed. I assure you, I’m not. Still, kind of sad.

Some of the results:

• Four sons, one husband, male dog
• big dreams, always trying, never succeeding
• missing, needing, craving, searching for passion
• Discomfort in skin, want to shine
• enjoys many things, passion for none
• midlife, who am I? Not sure.
• Much potential, achieved mediocrity, missing passion
• Paradoxical, loves life but missing passion
• mother, wife, daughter, photographer, knitter, provider
• Can’t do it all. No, really.

I think I prefer the concept of having one word. I recently read Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. Fabulous book btw. And after reading it I thought about my word. The one word that is my essence. I found it. Paradox. A noun, I’m definitely a noun, not a verb. And the word is… me.

So, my middle name. Much to my husband’s chagrin I replaced my middle name for my maiden name when we got married. Do I do my original name? My current middle name?

I shall vote for the current middle name. Besides, 2 e’s? That’s just hard.

Middle name: Miller

M: Well, Mom of course, duh.
I: Slightly insane.
L: Lazy, nuf’ said
L: Loquacious
E: Still stuck with the darn E. I’ll go with eclectic.
R: Rabid. No, no, ragged. No, well sort of. How about refined. Hahahaha. Sorry, making myself laugh. I guess I’ll go with reliable. Usually. Except this past week.

Type “[your name] needs” into a search engine.

Heidi needs her own site. - already have that

I think Heidi needs to understand that the Majority of the folks in that state DO NOT agree with her. - I’m sure they don’t.

Heidi needs to know that every man she meets is drooling over her. - All I can say is: hahahahahahaha…

I think Heidi needs someone to warm her up a bit, she seems cold. - lately

Heidi needs to tone down her foul language. - I know already!

What do YOU need?