Scene: Tyler answers the phone.

TYLER (9): “Hello.”

DAD: “What’s wrong?”

TYLER: “Nothing. Why?”

DAD: “You sound bummed.”

TYLER: “I’m waiting for the point.”

death is sure to follow when dad gets home

Scene: Dylan(7) & I driving home in the car last night.

DYLAN: “Look! Mom! It’s a full moon.”

ME: “Oh, yes it is.”

DYLAN: “Can I put down the window?”

ME: “Sure.” It was freakishly warm here last night.

DYLAN: hands gripping window that is 1/2 down, face turned toward moon “Wooo, wooo, awooooooooooo. Wooo, wooo, awoooooooooo.”

ME: “Are you being a werewolf?”

DYLAN: smug, and happy “Yes. Wooooooooooo, wooooooo, awoooooooooooooooooooooooo”

several minutes later

ME: “Can you roll up the window now? I think we’ve had enough howling.”

DYLAN: “One more. Woooooo, woooooo, awooooooooooooooooooooooo…”

If you happened to be driving south on 590 in Rochester, NY last night around 8:30 and saw a child sticking his face up to an open window and howling? Yes, that was us. And yes, this was on a highway with cars zooming by his opened window. I may have been laughing. And I may have been the tiniest bit embarrassed. Shocking, I know.

Things that may have been said while first viewing The Great Valentine Surprise 2006:

“Are you going to wash it off?”

“Does Dad know about this?”

“How long is this going to be here?”

“What happens at Christmas?”

“What about when my friends come over?”

“No, we love it. Really.”

Scene: In car, radio is playing 12 Days of Christmas

ME: What is with all the birds in this song?

TYLER (9 y/o): Don’t they need to migrate?

ME: Obviously the guy has never seen the movie The Birds.

TYLER: That’s a lot of birds alright.

ME: Golden rings… much better.

TYLER: More with the birds!

ME: What exactly are the maids milking?

TYLER: Cows. Or maybe goats.

ME: I hope she lives on a farm.

TYLER: I still think some of those birds would be migrating.

ME: Why are the lords leaping anyway?

TYLER: They think they’re frogs.

ME: Not sure I’d want all those people hanging around.

TYLER: Did she say she wanted all these things?

ME: Pipers would be okay.

TYLER: What is she going to do with all the birds?

ME: Drummers wouldn’t be so bad.

TYLER: That’s a lot of stuff. He should really ask what she wants first next time.

ME: Remember that.

ME: “Why did you get into bed with us last night?”

ZACH (5 years old): “First I got out of my bed then I went out of my room. Then I went into your room. I closed the door and got in your bed. Then I snuggled in.”

ME: “Yes, but WHY did you get in our bed?”

ZACH: “Because I missed you. I miss you at night.”