The husband left town for work until tomorrow night and I didn’t get the grocery shopping done this weekend so I’m starting the week off behind on life. I did do 5 loads of laundry yesterday. Yes, 5, even with the front loader. I’m thinking the skiing thing is causing much more laundry than usual. Oh, almost forgot about basketball practice – hee, yes, one of the Shetland boys is playing basketball this year – and soccer practice and lacrosse practice all started last week. God, I’m tired just writing all that.

I think I got gypped. Not only did I not get any girls, all my boys run around and make music which in turn causes me to have to run them around to countless practices and attend games and concerts galore. Why do I not have a little girl I could buy cute stripped tights for who would sit quietly and read in a comfy chair in the corner? (Which is what I would rather be doing right now.) I understand you might find the request of a tight wearing girl odd but there is something you probably don’t know about my house…

Socks. They can be found in every single room in my home. No matter how many times I (or less often, the children – when ordered) pick them up and put them in the wash, they find their way into rooms such as the dining room, bathroom, playroom, kitchen. EVERY. SINGLE. ROOM. They only have 2 feet each. We have 11 rooms in our house. I may not be a math whiz but that just does not add up. 4 children x 2 feet = 8 socks. 11 rooms. Does not compute.

No, honestly, I’m not sad to not have a girl. I kid. I would much rather have my 4 loud, obsessed with bodily functions and sports children who beat the crap out of each other on a regular basis than a bunch of girls. I always did find it easier to get along with boys. Besides, boys are impressed with loud belches rather than repulsed.  Also, I have the sense of humor of a twelve year old boy – still. The hardest part is not laughing at the inappropriate jokes.

In truth, inappropriate jokes might not really be the hardest part of raising the boys – that falls more to the trying to raise good men with all their limbs. Trying to keep them in one piece while simultaneously not killing them for ignoring me when I tell them to do something around the house because they are too busy playing video games – that is what is killing me.

I have no idea where this post went. This is what happens when you start a post, do some work, come back to work on the post, do more work. You get a jumbled mess that you have no time to fix because you have actual work to do that you avoided last week. May your day be less jumbled than this post. It can’t be too hard.

More Loving…
If you still need a gift for that hard to buy person. Any person really. I have the PERFECT gift. Bath towels. No really. Not lame like it sounds. Everyone needs bath towels. And these towels are the most luxuriant, absorbent, soft towels on the planet. They are even good for the planet as they are a bamboo cotton mix. The price right now (on sale at Amazon) is between $16.50 – $17.99 depending on color. This is one of those things that no one knows they need. They don’t know they want them until you give them to them. BUY THEM. I have 2 and I don’t let anyone else in the house use them. They are MINE. Love.

Still need more loving thoughts?
My job. Still love it. Finally feel like I found my niche here at the old place of employment. You may recall how much I despised the job I was originally hired to do. HATE. But the job they offered me at the end of the summer? LOVE.

So this isn’t about the love of people but it is love all the same.

• $420 later and my van is so quiet it’s actually unsettling. I forgot a vehicle could be that silent.
• It is the last official day of Spring break and I just remembered the projects 2 of the kids were suppose to be working on over break. Whoops! Guess I know what I’ll be doing tomorrow.
• My doctor and I have been playing phone tag. All I want is for him to order a blood test to rule out something. I don’t want a whole appointment. Also, I think he thinks I’m a complete hypochondriac at this point. All the tests so far have shown I’m FINE. But the pain is telling me that diagnosis is wrong.
• The weather is so beautiful it’s making me giddy. I ate my lunch outside in the sun yesterday. Without a coat! I’m not a big outdoor person but this is my absolute favorite weather and I want to weep when forced to go indoors for something like work. A place with tinted windows that do not open – in other words, no fresh air and it always looks a bit gray out. BAH.
• This whole Texas, locked compound, child abuse thing has been stuck on my mind ever since yesterday morning when I saw the brainwashed zombie mom’s on the Today show. They didn’t once deny anything. Not once did they say “No.” What the women did say was they love their children and their children love them. That if they had abused them, the kids wouldn’t love them. And love, love, love. And the kids cried when taken away. So the kids must love them. And that means they can’t have been abused.It made my skin crawl. It’s been proven that even kids whose parents abuse them usually still love them. They know no different. And they will cling and cry when being removed from all that they know. I can’t tell you how much I wanted these women to say, “No. There is no abuse. No, children aren’t being married to grown men and impregnated at 13.” I really wanted it to be a situation where people were freaked out by others who were “different” and not have all the allegations be true. All those children being taken away. What they’ve lived through and now all they still have left to endure – it makes me incredibly sad.

Last night I was taking my oldest son’s friend home and got pulled over by the police. But wait! As any story on the internet, this one gets better. It was around 9:30 and he only lives about a mile or so away.

Very Nice Policeman: “License and registration.”

Me: “Ah, I don’t have my license. I’m in my pajamas. I was just bringing my son’s friend home.” I gestured to my very obvious pajama pants and pink fuzzy slippers. “Wait, the registration’s here.”

VNP: “Is the vehicle registered to you?”

Me: “Yes. I mean no. I mean it might be registered to my husband.”

VNP: “Do you know why I stopped you?”

Me: “Uh, no.”

VNP: “You didn’t come to a complete stop when you pulled out of that side street.”

Me: “Ah yeah. I live on that side street.” Not sure why I thought I should mention this.

VNP: “Have you noticed your muffler is very loud?”

Me: “Yeah, I asked my husband to have it taken care of but he hasn’t gotten to it yet.” Again, not sure why I can’t keep my damn mouth shut.

VNP: “You’re GOING to have it looked at. Right?”

Me: “Yes, of course. Right away.”

VNP: “Ok.”

And he then WALKED AWAY.

I have never gotten pulled over and not received a ticket.

N.E.V.E.R.

And he is smart child according to the teachers. Apparently they feel you can have a bad day and do poorly on a test even if you know the material but you can’t ace it by accident. So his high scores combined with his plunging low scores make his grades look similar to a saw blade. They tell us this means he’s smart but struggling with some unseen force that keeps him from focusing or processing or, most likely, a combination of ADD and some as yet unidentified learning disorder. Fun stuff.

I will admit that the fact this is finally getting looked at makes me happy. The fact his reading has improved so much that at nine he can read and comprehend and verbalize facts and concepts makes me thrilled. A year and a half ago I wasn’t sure when or if that would happen. Even in math he seems to understand the concepts but he doesn’t know his math facts so his grades are abysmal.

As frustrating a child as this one is, and he is frustrating and high maintenance and extremely exhausting, he breaks my heart when he is so clearly trying and he just can’t do something. I suppose this is what they call love.

6+” of heart attack snow. Known in our house as snowball fight snow.

This is one of the children who was concerned with getting snow in his sneakers. Wha? Since when? When I suggested wearing boots the children looked at me like I had 6 heads. I do not.

I find it distressing that the photos look like there is very little snow. It looks like there is much more in person. Especially while sinking up to your mid-calf trying to walk through it or brushing off a minivan. It is very heavy. Very sticky. I wish I had gotten a photo of the van with lumps of snow sticking out from the sides of it. Not all uniform like usual but giant clumps stuck here and there. Very odd looking and very difficult to get off the van. Read: time consuming – hence the dearth of photos. As to why I did not park in the garage last night? The sun that has been shining lately has caused the children to play outside. This has resulted in them to leaving toys all over the garage. Add to that the denial I was in over the impending snow and my innate laziness. Hence, the inability to fit the van into the garage without driving over several balls, bikes, scooters and other various paraphernalia.

In related news: The apocalypse has arrived. There was no snowball fight while waiting for the bus. Just standing around, talking and laughing. The end must be near.