I’ve been writing posts. Really.

Ok, I’ve writing posts IN. MY. HEAD. almost everyday on my way to work but, well, you know how that goes. By the time I step into my office I’ve forgotten everything or at the very least I have too much to do to take the time to type it out.

I’ve even tried jotting notes down for later but that doesn’t seem to be working either. And please, dear God, PLEASE, do not suggest recording my thoughts. I tried it back when I was trying to write for magazines and children’s books. It works but the thing with recording your thoughts is that then… you have to listen to them.

First of all, things never sound as witty on a recording as in my head.

Second, the sound of my voice makes me want to stick sharp, pointy things into my ears to destroy my eardrums and any chance of having to hear my voice again. How anyone can listen to me speak and not run screaming from the room is beyond me. Seriously. Every time I hear my voice on a recording I never want to inflict that pain on anyone again. A fact my husband will now use against me in instances like last night when he actually said, “Just stop speaking, woman.” Ha! All he needed to do was play my recorded voice and it would have shut me up for longer than the 5.6 seconds that I did close my mouth in indignation.

Where was I? Ah yes, blogging. Anyone have any ideas how I can harness my brilliant *cough* thoughts on the drive to work and get them into the computer to entertain the 6 non-family readers I have left after my serious lack of blogging? Holy run on sentence Batman!

Anyway, must go. Karate is calling. No, not for me. One of the littles is about to “try it out” for a class. Any guesses as to the chance he’ll not like it?

Can I just say I squandered the last hours of freedom I have from my family updating my computer? The last FOUR hours. GAH!

It seems to behaving now though. It was refusing to interact with the internet. Repeatedly. Causing me to spend hours trying to fix it and on the phone with tech support.

Sometimes? I hate computers.

Shhh, don’t tell my computer.

I usually try to stay away from seeing the searches that bring people to my site as it tends to disturb me. With all the posts on Google hits people are getting I thought I’d bite the bullet and see how many pervs were searching for “Speedo” and Speedo related searches. Over a year since I wrote the damn post and they are still pouring in. Amazing really.

According to my site meter’s keyword stats I may as well be running a porn site. Really.

Did you know that I’m #7 on Google for Mommy got f*cked?

How about that I’m #1 – #1 baby! – for pissing childrens (do I need to say it was not an English version)?

I’m also #3 for hot moms doing it.

Still the most hits come from people looking for Speedo or other less savory Speedo related searches. — As a side note: This post also generated my first hate mail. Made me laugh really. I even *gasp* responded in the comments because, do I need to say it? The Blogger profile was a fake. I’m sure Robert never came back though because I never heard from him again.

And one of the newest one’s I’ve seen is mom pissing me off. Again, I’m #1 for that. And really, it’s no surprise. I’m sure I piss a lot of people off.

My favorite though?

I’m #2 on Ask.com for why does your nose make boogers?

I think that one really captures the spirit of the site.

My site has disappeared. Well, this page has. The rest of it is still there.

Anyone want to explain to me how this happens? Of course, if you can read this then the problem is no more.

GAH!

Busy day. Will try to write later.