I had plans. Big plans. Regarding what you ask? Regarding a certain rite of passage.

Which one? Shaving. Yes, really. I’m not sure how these things happen either.

My oldest has been planning to experience this for a few months now. It was getting to the point that he NEEDED to shave. At fourteen. Gah!

Not that he had a actual mustache but it was blond and getting longer and filling in quite a bit. (Note the blond comment. It will come in handy in a few moments.) So I had plans. I had visions of photographing the big event. Plans of witnessing this  time honored tradition between father and son. Yes, you can see where this is going.

My son asked me why his razor was in the shower. The one I’d been shaving my legs with. (It was an emergency!) I knew it wasn’t my husband’s razor. I guessed that he had left it out in preparation of the big event. What I didn’t guess was that the big event had already happened while I was washing the dishes one night.

And the best part? His comment.

“Can’t you tell?”

“Ah, now that you mention it, yes.”

That earned me a thoroughly disgusted look.

“But it’s blond! You can only see it in the right light. Or if you’re looking closely. I’m not observant. You know that! It’s not my fault!”

And then I turned the tables. How could you do that without me? I wanted to take pictures. I missed this big event in your life! Whaaaaaaa.

The look horror and then relief when he realized the bullet he dodged. All was forgiven. I believe there may have been high fives behind my back between the boy and his father.

Later when I confronted my husband he insisted that maybe this wasn’t the sort of thing moms should be photographing. That maybe it was best that I missed it. It’s a guy thing and most guy things shouldn’t be photographed.

And that’s when I realized, my little boy is really growing up.

I was going to write about my youngest today but, well, I forgot what he said this morning that I wanted to remember. So much for using this blog as my memory. It only works when I remember something for long enough to write about it. My mind, it is going. Ha! That’s optomistic.

My mind, it is gone. There, that’s more accurate.

Something that is currently on my mind is the absolute torment of working at a university where I am able to take classes for free, where I am constantly working on class schedules and yet have absolutely no time to actually take a course. It’s kind of like being at a buffet of all your favorite foods but you’re not allowed to eat them. I keep thinking I could fit a course in if I really wanted to but then I wonder when I will do the homework, go to class, do reading and research and realize, hell, I don’t even have time to grocery shop most weeks. Who am I kidding? Maybe when the kids are old enough to drive.

I discovered a new vice. Three words: Peanut. butter. cereal. mmmmm…

I know I don’t need another vice. The coffee and the chocolate and well, everything good and fatty is much more than enough but have you tried peanut butter cereal? My holy hell it is good.

The first purchase started as most of these things do. I bought it for the kids. We have a strict, no more than 11 grams of sugar, rule for cereal. Yes, 11 grams is random. I think it came about because I needed to limit the amount of sugar in their cereal and they were already eating Honey Nut Cheerios. (I may be wrong here – it’s been years.) The good part is when they ask for some horrific, sugary cereal with weird colors and licensed characters on it I can tell them to check the sugar. They do and usually it is over the 11 gram mark. Wegman’s Peanut Butter Corn Crunch was not. I believe it came in at 10. So we bought it.

I’ve been having to buy 2 boxes a week and we still run out. This past weekend I did not shop at Wegmans so I had to buy the cereal it was modeled after: Captain Crunch’s Peanut Butter Crunch (9 grams sugar).

They ate it but it was not the same. There was controversy over which was more peanut buttery and which was sweeter. So I  did what I had to do – I made a trip out to Wegmans and the kids and I had a blind taste test.

The contenders:

The unanimous results:

The Sweetest

The Most Peanut Buttery

The only controversy left was whether each participant preferred more sweetness or pb-ness.

The votes have not been counted on this. The children can’t decide. I however have:

Right sentiment – Wrong box

Want to see me somewhere else?

Yes, I wrote something for Alpha Mom. You should totally go read it. It is a subject I am quite an expert at. In fact, if you are an expert on a subject you should totally submit your idea to them. They’ll let you know if they already have one in the que on your topic. In fact, as of this minute it is the featured article on their homepage. Go, then let me know what you think.

I have been thinking about High School lately. I place the blame firmly on Facebook’s shoulders. I alternate between being excited to see/hear about people I grew up with and horrified. The horrified part has nothing to do with the actual people from my past but more how it makes me feel like I’m back in 7th grade and no one liked me. It seemed there were always rumors swirling about and I never really understood the social games that were played. In fact, I still don’t understand the social games that are played. I just try to avoid the people who play them the most. Thankfully most adults are too busy to play such games.

In light of all the emotional baggage dredged up from my teen years and angsty misunderstoodness (they are too words, doesn’t anyone understand me?) I am doing a list of an undermined number of facts of my teen years. I was going to do 20 because I graduated 20 years ago but then I realized its now been almost 21. Also, a predetermined number is too much pressure.

EDITED TO ADD: The original list was awful. I’ve decided to replace some of it with other things that have come to mind. It does not make the old list inaccurate, just a downer.

1. I got decent grades but didn’t study enough. I should have learned to study. Bit me in the ass in college.
2. I had flat hair for most of the 80′s – much to my chagrin at the time.
3. In gym class kickball I use to try to help the opposing team. This angered some of my teammates greatly.
4. I never took art in high school. (My degree is a BFA)
5. I liked almost everyone.
6. I loved hanging out with people who made me laugh but I was totally envious.
7. I took flute lessons for about a minute in 5th grade. It is the most musical thing I’ve ever done.
8. Since birth I had a crush on someone at all times.
9. I graduated High School a virgin.
10. No really. I did.
11. I was not cool. Gee, you think?
12. All these things are still true. Except the virgin part.
13. I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life right after high school. 20 years later it is still able to send me spiraling down a well of  self loathing and depression.
14. Sometimes I miss who I was and sometimes I’m terrified of becoming her again.
15. I’m finding that being confronted with teen agonies with my kids is just as hard as when I was a teen. I still don’t have the answers. I thought I would by now.
16. I have apparently learned very little in the 20 years since I was a teen. Although I have mastered the toddler years.

It seems 16 is the new 25. What are some random facts about your teen years?