It totally is. Peeing 4x’s in as many hours at a fairly new job is not winning me any admirers here in the office. And I work somewhere it is pretty obvious to everyone when I go.

Also, it causes untold dryness to your hands. I thought I was HYDRATING myself, not drying my skin the fuck out.

I love that I just figured out how to get photos off my phone.

Exhibit A:

This is from this past summer when I was on Fire Island.

I love the beach. I love technology. And I love that I finally figured this out after almost a year.

The doctor called around 8:30 last night. My girly parts are fine. However, my colon is misbehaving. Why is it easier to discuss girl issues than colon issues?

Anyway, other than the Chinese water torture I had to endure in the shower this morning, the fact I couldn’t sleep because of the pain, and the hormonal need to weep… all is well.

Thank you for all your kind thoughts!

Seriously. Don’t read any farther if you don’t want that kind of information about me.

Have you scrolled on past? Hit the little red X in the corner?

Still here?

Okay, not only is my body so sensitive right now that I can’t wear a bra and moving in some ways is painful but the stuff they made me drink for the test yesterday gives you diarrhea. So there’s that. And now my body has been kind enough to bestow my period on me.

Last but not least:

Dear all physicians,

When your patient knows you have test results and you do not call for more than 24 hours when they’ve left (a very restrained) 2 messages – they will assume the worst. Because if the tests showed nothing YOU WOULD HAVE CALLED AND SAID SO.

If this is not the case, and the results showed nothing, do a neurotic woman a favor and CALL ALREADY.

Sincerely,
A Very Neurotic Woman

PS – How many times can I call my physician without becoming THAT patient?