The Good:
The vestibule is finished. Took 11 months but it is done and it is glorious.

The So-Terrible-I-May-Expire:
Our computer died on Saturday. Dead. Nothing. No internet. No photos. No financial records. No business records. There is hope to retrieve the data but I’m not sure when that will happen or even positive it can happen.

I had several anxiety attacks yesterday and the day before. Stabbing stomach pains, etc. Right now I’m on my mother’s computer. Just typing this out is causing the anxiety to bloom in my chest.

So, expect me to be very quiet. Unless I can steal a few minutes here and there at my mother’s. Maybe I’ll try the library. We’ll have to see how desperate I become.

Edited to add: I just found out my server has been down since Saturday night also. hmmm… very odd and disconcerting. Someone is trying to kill me.

I meant to check on my progress with my 2005 goals at the 1/2 way mark – that would be July1st. We can all see that never happened. But, in the spirit of better late than never, I give you my goals (and my lack of progress).

1. Get a job at my employer of choice. (I’ll let you know where and why if I ever get a job there)
   - I didn’t get a job there but I did just get a job. So… not a total loss.
2. Sign a book contract/re-evaluate writing career.
   - Still have a manuscript out. It was requested.
3. Begin a baby book for my FOUR-year-old.
   - HA!
4. Organize my photos so I can update the kids’ albums.
   - Organized chronologically. (that actually means there is more that needs to be done. Shhh.)
5. Possibly even update said albums.
   - Ha, HA!
6. Stay on top of disaster we call our home.
   - Most of the time.
7. Do more with my children.
   - If running them to and from activites counts than Hell ya!
8. Not yell so much.
   - Accomplished. Except when trying to get out of the door. Or when it is time to eat. Or dress. Or get ready for bed. Or brush teeth. Or do ANYTHING I want them to do.
9. Take more photographs.
   - YES!
10. Lose weight.
    - How about put on 10 pounds since the beginning of the year? Hmm?
11. Exercise more. (that means any little bit will count.)
    - YAY! I did. Then I stopped. But it was more. That’s all I said… more. Success!

I am putting out a call for recipes. Summer recipes to be more precise. I have many warm, yummy, comforting winter recipes but no non-cook summer recipes.

So? Got any for me? I love a good salad but alas – the kids? Not so much. Also, they hate any such thing as potato salad or macaroni salad or pasta salad. So, if you have any kid friendly summer-y foods… please post them in the comments.

I think if we eat sandwiches ONE. MORE. TIME. I may have a rebellion on my hands. So COMMENT with your favorite summer dish! And Thank you!

I feel like I’m running a race and I keep wanting to just take a break and enjoy but it is not to be.

Driving the kids from point A to point B and back and then to Point C or D or even E or F I see things I want to stop and photograph. But there is NO. TIME. We must HURRY. We are LATE.

What ever happened to the lazy days of summer?

I realize a good part of it is my fault. I did schedule them more this summer than any other. Mostly because when the kids are left to their own devices for too long they start to attack each other. And when they attack I want to lock them all in their rooms and throw away the keys.

Right now I keep hearing how summer is suppose to be FUN. And if they must do chores, it is not FUN. And why can’t we go to expensive amusement parks. Why can’t I let them play video games or computer games ALL DAY. Why must they get dressed or eat or brush their teeth. Why am I such a MEAN MOTHER? I am apparently no fun at all. God, all the getting dressed and eating! What am I thinking?

In other news, it has been suggested to me that I look into galleries in the area for my photographs. Galleries! I really never thought. I’m not sure it could or will happen but I’m looking. Seeing what is out there. Looking into my options.

As for more festivals… I’d love to do an indoor one late in the fall. I just have to find one. The major problem is the festivals I’ve been told to look into for next year (& this winter) are VERY expensive to get into. Most even have a juror fee. Which means I must pay them to decide if they want my work. If they don’t I don’t get it back. If they do I must then pay MORE to have a space.

The fees range from $175-$300. Most leaning toward the $300 mark. I can’t imagine where I would find such money. And even if I did… what if I didn’t make table? (for an explanation of table, read this) That’s an awful lot of money to earn out.

The good news is I did make table last weekend. In fact, I made enough to cover the loss from the weekend before. The sad news is I sold more bracelets than photographs. The ‘at least there is a positive’ news is I made enough from the bracelet sales to help cover the fees.

Off to do more research and yell at the children to GET DRESSED. EAT BREAKFAST. DO YOUR F-ING CHORES or NO computer or swimming or FUN!